


on the aftermath of a heartbreak

by Chesra



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chesra/pseuds/Chesra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The King is dead. Long live the King.<br/>Or alternately, Mikoto left too many broken hearts in his wake. [spoilers for episode 13.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	on the aftermath of a heartbreak

_"This hole in my heart is in the shape of you and no one else can fit it."_  
\- Jeanette Winterson  
  
\--  
  
 _If Mikoto-san were gone, you'd look only at me._  
  
Fushimi hates himself for ever thinking that. He doesn't hate Suoh Mikoto; never has. He's resented him, perhaps, for taking Misaki's attention away from him, but he's never wanted him dead.  
  
He rubs the spot above his heart where he once wore the Red King's mark. The mark is gone but the burn lives on, and Fushimi feels nothing but loss and regret.  
  
A week after the Red King's death, he goes to HOMRA. Kusanagi-san is the only person there, cleaning wineglasses. "Welcome," he says, his eyes kind.  
  
Fushimi hates it; hates how they're kind, and how they forgive. He wish they wouldn't, like Misaki. Then this would be so much easier.  
  
Kusanagi slides a drink in front of him without another word, only a smile. "How's SCEPTER4 doing?"  
  
Fushimi takes a sip. "Fine." Fushimi doesn't talk about how the light has gone from their Captain's eyes, how Lieutenant Awashima deals with the mountain of paperwork as a distraction rather than an actual job, how suffocating the silence in the office is.  
  
No one talks about it. Fushimi wonders how the world will replace their three kings. Kuroh Yatogami is still missing from their radar. There are too many questions and not enough answers, and SCEPTER4 is tasked with dealing with most of them. Fushimi's been working overtime the entire week. Not that he minds - he has been desperate for anything to take what has happened off his mind.  
  
But he can't help it. All week he hasn't run into Misaki as he patrols the whole city, and he's worried that Misaki might have done something reckless, something stupid. He's not part of the Red Clan anymore. He has no power of his own. What if something - someone - came claiming payback for all the stupid shit HOMRA had pulled?  
  
It must have shown in his expression, because Kusanagi actually leans in close to him. "Yata's doing okay," Kusanagi says, answering Fushimi's unasked question. "As okay as he can, I guess. He's dealing with this better than Totsuka's."  
  
Fushimi clicks his tongue involuntarily. It should have been just another death to him, but it's not. Totsuka-san has also been kind. _He and Mikoto-san…_ he clenches his fist, letting out a sigh. "Please," he whispers, because he hates asking for favors. "Take care of Misaki."  
  
"We will, even if you don't ask," Kusanagi says mildly. "He's still one of us." _You're still one of us_ , Fushimi hears in the silence that follows, and it's so stupid, so annoying, that he knocks his chair back in his hurry to stand.  
  
"Thank you," he says curtly, leaving his drink unfinished and slams the money down on the counter before walking away.  
  
Once outside, the wind is cold. Fushimi shivers despite himself.  
  
He remembers how warm HOMRA is. Mikoto-san had made the place warm just by virtue of being there. And even when he wasn't physically present, his aura remained. Now Fushimi thinks of the bar; Kusanagi alone in there. The warmth is gone, and everything is just an empty promise from a King. Everything has burned to ashes.  
  
Fushimi thinks of Misaki, angry and helpless.  
  
"How will he save you now, Misaki," Fushimi whispers to the air. _What will you do now that your hero can't come and save you anymore?_  
  
Fushimi's not self-absorbed enough to think he can ever replace Suoh Mikoto in Misaki's heart.  
  
But he doesn't want Misaki living with that gaping hole in his chest, either. There are some things a person can never get over of, and this is one of them. (He would know. He's lived with his own hole in his heart, terrified that one day Misaki would disappear and leave him empty forever.)  
  
 _If Mikoto-san were gone…_  
  
 _you'd die by yourself in the cold._

_\--  
_

**Author's Note:**

> drabbles on the aftermath of episode 13. The ending broke my heart and writing is the only way I can make it feel better. Not sure if I’ll write more from characters’ POV; there's a half-written one from Munakata's POV and makings of one from Anna but it hurts to keep writing it.


End file.
